I’m going to be blunt- I’m not one of those dudes that checks out a chick’s ass. It’s like this…Butts aren’t attractive…at all. They are where poop comes from. I don’t see the sense of getting worked up over them. Grabbing an ass doesn’t withhold any hidden pleasures, and it creates a risk for a poopy palm. However, ever since the fashionable thing has been for girls to wear suffocatingly tight jeans, there has been a certain something that has caught my eye.
Despite my discontentment with the whole “bootay” thing, there are definitely standards that come with the responsibility of wearing such tight pants. Let’s face it, the butt is pillar of support for tight pants. Without them, tight pants just squeeze what isn’t already there into a small, condensed ball of awkward. It almost look like a newspaper that is balled up and placed into a Speedo.
Even worse yet, there is the saggy butt that doesn’t quite fill the tight jeans and looks like the back of a grilled cheese sandwich where the cheese oozes over the bread. Like when a piece of pizza is too hot and the cheese strings don’t quite break away from the rest of the pizza.
I guess my problem here is that there is such a high demand for a nice ass, and when chicks feel pressured to show off what they got, they end up putting pressure over areas that don’t look right. The whole idea of an ass is a social nightmare that has me looking in areas that are dark and mysterious. I don’t want to be looking where you shit from. I have an ass of my own—if they were that sexy, I’d just look at myself for a quick fix.
Butts have no relevance to reproduction, yet we place a big sticker of sexual vanity over the crack. At least boobs are attractive for a genetic, evolutionary purpose. In that, they provide milk for a newborn, and the appearance of a grade A rack show the fitness to be a mother of the person wearing it. And as far as vaginas…I mean come on…it’s the primary source of reproduction and pleasure alike. There is no poop, there are [hopefully] no odors to concern yourself with.
To conclude this ramble of shallow assery, I guess all I can say is I am in no way an ass man, and I am sick of them being flaunted right in front of my face. I guess I would more satisfied if the whole aspect of outer appearance was omitted, and we focused more on the pleasures of what the body can provide—the mind included. Chicks…just don’t make what is already an abomination to the human body look even worse by wearing tight ass jeans that don’t look good. Kthnxbye.
This made me LOL. I agree with you.