December 2011
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Yeah sure I could be sick but she'll just look it...
Me: "Mom, I think I seriously have some kind of stomach problem. Like acid reflux or something, because sometimes when I burp I throw up."
Mom: -staring at laptop- "Say that again?"
Me: "Sometimes when I burp I throw up and it burns my throat and --"
Mom: "I'll research it."
Me: "Okay."
November 2011
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lone1ita asked: bribree, you've got mad swag. love, leila
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In 48 hours, political leaders in Russia will vote... →
im-not-o-fucking-hungry:
PLEASE REBLOG - IT ONLY TAKES 5 MINUTES
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To assholes with girlfriends: While you're...
haileeeey:
the-infallible-rook-whore:
beautifulwhatsyourhurry:
xclockwork:
mybestintentions:
swagisme123:
omg wow
jesus kid.
Holy crap, that’s amazing.
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Don't cry over spilled milk. Or hot chocolate....
I’ve been pretty moody for the past couple days. And you know those days when everything is enough to make you cry? Today was that day for me.
So I’m already upset as it is, and after I eat my pretzel with cheese, I get myself a tiny baby cup of hot chocolate. It’s ALWAYS too hot to drink, so I had to wait a little. I was sitting with my friend Kenny talking about everything...
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africans:
she wears high heels i wear sneakers she’s cheer captain but i give good blow jobs
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Reblog if your mom is beautiful.
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when you accidentally step on your pet's foot
Dog: IT'S OK I LOVE YOU ANYWAYS YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND COME ON LET'S GO PLAY!!!!!
Cat: What the fuck? Do you have any idea what you just did? You stepped on my fucking foot, you moron. I will not accept your apology so easily I'll just leave you for a while and hide and when you come near me I'll hiss at you bitch. Go on a diet you fatass maybe then it won't hurt so goddamn much.
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maxfuckingbemis:
hilaryskank:
there’s a special place in hell for people who don’t close your door when they leave the room when your door was originally closed
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Anonymous asked: wait seriously you make fun of adele for being larger? what the fuck is wrong with you? you prickly bitch. god damn adele is amazing and a beautiful person and you are a hypocrite, you don't know her not like she'd wanna know your wrinkly ass anyway. how many friends do you have? i'm sure almost all of them want to buy a monkey from the congos and have it rub it's shit all over...
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