My girl-crush from gym class just started following me. :x
HI JACKIE LOL.
… Oh God this is a mistake.
Ian: "Doing this lil homework type thingy."
Me: "LMFAO awe yayyy!"
Ian: "So tell me something about yer day you lil shit"
My ex-wife was one of those blowjob on your birthday kinda women, you guys know what I mean. But even that was ok, at first, but then it got down to a handjob on my birthday -towards the end- it was like ya’ know what? You can masturbate in the shower on your birthday, fuck her! I did that on every holiday. Bitch.
So I was taking pictures of my hamster because I was bored and he slipped and was holding on to my hand for dear life and I got this picture
I am dying right now.
Grammys: “Maximum trolling achieved”: Deadmau5 showed up at the Grammys wearing Skrillex’s personal cellphone number on his T-shirt.
-Sir, we’ve found this and we needed you to name it.
-But we figured we might as well just call it “Ananas” since the majority of the world refers to it as-